A dear friend of mine once told me,
“If you take the word ‘should’ out of the sentence, it just is.”
I sat there completely taken back by what she had just said, something so simple yet so powerful and true.
“I should feel this way- but I don’t. I should be able to do this- at the moment I can’t. I should be able to move on- but I’m struggling. I should show myself some kindness- but I won’t.’
We are all constantly jamming the word ‘should’ in-between every sentence. It got me thinking, when did we come up with what ‘should be’ and why are we mixing it up with ‘it just is?’
Somewhere along the line we came up with a list of expectations; how life should present itself, how we should evolve, what people we should surround ourselves with. I too have questioned myself, my choices, the people in my life and life itself many times.
The universe is constantly introducing us to people and situations that test and fulfil us. Majority of the time I would like to think that we are appreciative of the times when our expectations are met, BUT we are human beings and sometimes it’s just not that simple.
That’s the funny things about expectations, are they ever really met? I ask this question because I really am curious, aren’t we always searching for something else?
Time and time again it was easy for me to say,
“this is unfair, they SHOULD be a better….”
“I SHOULD be….”
and to wallow in what should be instead of what is. I’ve come to the realisation that my expectations not being met are my biggest blessings. It has taught me patience, acceptance and to let go of what I cannot control. It has taught me what kind of daughter, friend, mother and person I want to me, setting me up for my future self. It has taught me how to re- program my thoughts, move slowly with my reactions and to appreciate every given lesson.
Only when our expectations are not met is when the real change happens.
I urge you to remove the word ‘should’ and accept what is.
If we remove these high expectations that we hold upon ourselves maybe we can be proud of each accomplishment as they come. If we release ourselves and each other from expectations it may be possible that we let go of the associated feelings that come along with un-met expectations.
Maybe once we lower the bar of expectations upon ourselves and others, we will be able to open our hearts and minds to learning and understanding more.
Peace & love,