As I practised Pranayama breathing I began to cry. My chest was tight with every inhale and with every exhale I felt a sharp pain across my shoulders, chest and throat. I moved through the class trying to keep it together, comforted by the fact that no one would notice (we sweat ALOT through Bikram Yoga.) I brought my hand to my heart centre in Tree Pose and I tried to stand tall and proud (something that I always encourage students to do) but I was struggling. I heard the teacher say, ‘Let your breath be you anchor.’ So I did.
I kept my eyes opened. I knew I needed to keep my mind in the room; I needed to face what the universe was sending me. The very thought of doing something that I knew would not make me happy was soul crushing. I finally knew the feeling of fulfilment and I was not willing to take a step backwards. My Soul Self began to whisper. She reminded me that this is part of a greater purpose. I couldn’t argue with her because I knew she was right; when you know more it becomes hard to fight back. I had to surrender to the unknown.
Each of us have different priorities, some of us search for a relationship, a job, a religion, etc…
I was searching for the feeling of freedom.
The freedom to talk, to be creative, to be who I am. I didn’t want to be couped up, I didn’t want to be held down; I knew what it felt like for my voice to be taken away and one thing I know for sure, is that I will never let that happen again.
Listen to the sensations in your body, listen to what your body is telling you; listen to your Soul Self, he/she is honest, your mirror, your comforter, your voice, your thoughts and your voice.
Listen… Peace & love,
Mikaela