I did this for me not for ____

January 14, 2019

For the following piece I have left a blank space, I encourage you to insert the word, name that resonates with you. This is for you, about you, to help understand you.

 

I sat across from Sue and said “I feel bad, I feel like I owe ____ more.”

She responded with a simple question

“Are you doing this for you or ____?”

My initial reaction wanted to say ‘____’ but if I said that I knew I would be lying. I took a moment to reflect. I wanted to believe that I was doing it for ____ but deep down I knew it was for me. I knew that I had this need to fix everything. Throughout life there have been times where I felt as though I have failed. I couldn’t get people to listen or even attempt to fix themselves and I wanted them too, I knew if they didn’t they would lose everything; no matter how hard I tried, they wouldn’t, which meant I failed.

 

We have all experienced letting go of people and things that mean a lot to us. I guess it comes down to knowing your worth and knowing when you have both played your part. I began to question everything:

'Is this what I want?'

‘Is it meant to be this hard?’

‘Why is there a heaviness in my chest?’

 

Letting go is hard but holding to something that isn’t right for you is harder.

 

Whatever you find yourself holding on to ask yourself:

 

Is it for me or for ____?
Do I want everything that comes along with ____?

How does my body feel?

Do my morals/ beliefs align with ____?

 

Let go of the responsibility of trying to fix everyone. No one ever truly changes unless they want to.

If you really care you will want them to change for them not you.

 

Peace & love,

 

Mikaela

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