For the longest time I have tried to figure out what it means to trust someone… and when I say trust I mean really trust with every part of your being.
Brene Brown describes gaining trust like a marble jar.
Over the years our friends and family will say and do things that gain our trust…it may be things like, remembering an important date, or an important milestone, it might even be little things like calling when they say they will call…as they begin to gain our trust, we add another marble to the jar. I began to reflect and started to question my own thoughts and relationships, I asked myself ‘if someone can’t follow through with a promise they made for themselves, why would they do it for me?
And why do we choose to forgive and try over and over again even though we know it isn’t right?! I came up with a few conclusions.
We are made up of layers
We forgive and try over and over because we take into consideration someones past, present, fears, vulnerabilities, hopes, etc. We as humans want to believe in something better and we long to be the person that can help change someone else.
We have become addicted to the pain Somewhere along the line we failed, or someone failed us. And that is painful. To avoid that happening again we go into every relationship trying to be one step ahead, predicting every move and trying to figure the answer so we can rectify the feeling that we have once felt.
Lack of trust … within yourself. Ever had that moment where deep, deep down you know it just isn’t right but you ignore it and do it anyway? That is lack of trust. It’s easier to place trust and expectations onto someone else. We can invest our time into someone and ignore who we are- it’s easier to be disappointed by someone else rather than to disappoint yourself.
Boundaries This is a word that I use a lot! We either have too many boundaries or none at all. Part of the human experience is letting someone in and giving your time and energy… but know your worth… be willing to give but set boundaries. No one has the right to strip you of the energy that you possess.
Trust is made up of tiny moments, words, actions and feelings. I urge you to look beyond words and notice patterns and behaviours. Trust yourself, your body, your mind and your intuition.
Thank your Soul self- you have been sent those who have gained your trust and those who have broken it…
Trust is built in very small moments, stay present.
Peace & love,
Mikaela